REDEFINING SUCCESS: How to Shift Your Energy and Break Free from the 'I'll Be Happy When...' Trap

When you reflect on your day, how would you know if it was successful?

Most of us are subscribing to some sort of metrics to make that determination. 

Things like:

• How much did I get done today?
• Did that conversation, promotion, or deal go through in the way that I wanted it to?
• Did my kids behave as they were supposed to? Are they succeeding in the ways I believe are best for them?

We’re notorious for moving the goal post–setting a goal, and then somewhere in the course of attaining that goal, we push it further away. This can look like adding on to the scope of a project once it’s already launched, or setting unrealistic, unclear, and often unspoken and subconscious expectations of ourselves and of those around us.

We get caught in tendencies like needing to over-control what “should” happen, hyper-rationalizing instead of listening to our gut, perfectionism, constant worrying, avoidance of making decisions or approaching difficult situations, or blaming the circumstances for why we can’t create the outcomes we want. I should have known better. They should have cleaned up their mess. She should have just sent that email. I’ve heard this referred to as “should-ing all over ourselves.”

Most of us aren’t aware of what these tendencies are, how they show up, or even when. We double down in those circumstances, and succumb to the idea that we need to work harder and push through until we get what we want.

And we fool ourselves into believing this thought error: 

“I’ll be happy when…”

We may not use these words exactly.  It can also sound like:

“Once I have $X in my bank account, I can rest easier.”

“Once I get this promotion, I won’t have to worry so much.”

“After my kid gets into college, things will slow down.”

“When it’s time to go on vacation, then I can relax”

It can also show up as a tendency to compare to our peers–what they’re driving, what they’re wearing or the types of vacations they take, or the opportunities/promotions they’re getting.

These tendencies (or “vasanas” in Sanskrit–in case you’re into learning interesting factoids) are what cause our stress.  They’re the reason the very promotion we’re gunning for is the reason we can’t sleep at night even after it’s ours.  Why after pining for kids, we find raising them so stressful and outright maddening. Or why we bend over backwards to make sure everyone’s happy, but never or fleetingly feeling that sense of fulfillment and ease.

So we expend time, energy, resources, and compromise on what we really want to work harder–only to wind up even more stressed and unhappy, when what we want is to feel freedom, joy, peace, ease, and able to create the opportunities and outcomes we want.

I think it’s safe to say, this belief–this approach–isn’t working. And there’s so much research to back that.  Books like Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine, The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor, and more highlight this one simple truth (that just so happens to be the same as what ancient cultures and scriptures tell us): our beliefs shape our realities.

How can we lessen these tendencies? Better yet, how can we leverage these to work FOR us, and not against us?

We can’t fix what we aren’t aware of. What we don’t know. It would be like trying to use the maps app on our phones but refusing to tell it our current location. We can’t possibly get to where we want to go.

Enter a diagnostic tool like the Energy Leadership Index Assessment. It not only highlights how you show up when you’re stressed, but how you make decisions in general. And it uncovers the many options we actually have at our disposal when we’re doing anything in the world to create the realities we want–even things like folding laundry or running late for a meeting. It’s a life-changing knowledge base that literally helps you build stress resilience and nurture your well-being and enhance your performance potential in any and all areas of life.

Imagine knowing exactly when you’re exhibiting tendencies that are actively causing stress and keeping you stuck, and knowing how to shift your energy to so that you can move forward with clarity, confidence, and ease? Imagine feeling fulfilled and joyful, rather than chasing the clock, worrying about something that happened in the past, or anxious about the future.

It’s not only possible, but achievable. And it starts by understanding where you are and how to use the tools you already have but just don’t know about yet.

Unlocking your potential with the ELI assessment

The Energy Leadership® Index assessment offers an opportunity to radically shift your perspective on work and life. By helping individuals uncover their unique energy levels, this assessment sets the stage for lasting transformation. Unlike traditional personality tests, which are great for categorizing strengths and weaknesses, the ELI goes deeper into how you view and interact with others.

As a certified iPEC* coach, I’ll be there to guide you through the process. You’ll learn how to optimize your energy, enhance your relationships, and ultimately thrive in every aspect of your life.

Understanding energy dynamics

Energy profoundly shapes our daily experiences, influencing not only how we feel but also how we respond to challenges. Understanding the dynamics of energy can offer insights into how we operate in various situations.

Two primary types of energy play crucial roles in shaping our experiences—catabolic and anabolic energy. Catabolic energy embodies negativity, leading to destructive behaviors and outcomes. For instance, think of a leader who constantly complains and creates tension; that individual embodies catabolic energy, causing strain in team dynamics.

In contrast, anabolic energy promotes creativity and constructive engagement. Individuals radiating this type of energy uplift those around them, motivating and inspiring action toward shared goals. A strong leader exhibits anabolic energy by fostering collaboration, which drives innovation within their team.

Recognizing these energy dynamics allows you to identify where you typically operate and the shifts you might need to facilitate personal and professional growth.

Recognizing your energy levels

Within the framework of energy dynamics lies seven distinct energy levels that define how people experience and express their energy. These levels range from victimhood to complete passion.

For example, Level 1 energy reflects feelings of helplessness, while Level 7 embodies joy and excitement for all aspects of life. Most people cycle through these energy levels based on external circumstances, such as stress or interactions with colleagues.

By pinpointing your current energy level, you can understand how it influences your decision-making and interactions. Awareness of your energy state equips you with the insight needed to adjust your reactions, improving overall engagement with life’s challenges.

Research demonstrates that energy significantly influences performance -both at work and at home. Those operating at higher energy levels report increased satisfaction and productivity across multiple facets of their lives. Conversely, individuals trapped in lower energy states often struggle with motivation and efficiency.

By embracing tools like the ELI assessment, professionals can gauge their energy profiles and make informed adjustments to drive positive change. Understanding your energy’s impact opens pathways to improved communication, enhanced teamwork, and increased morale, creating a more vibrant workplace atmosphere.

Experiencing transformation through awareness

Awareness lies at the core of personal transformation. When you understand your energy dynamics, you enable yourself to actively shape your actions and outlook.

As you navigate life, recognizing the lens through which you perceive challenges can offer significant breakthroughs. The ELI assessment reveals valuable insights regarding your current thought patterns, illuminating areas needing adjustment or focus.

Participants often discover unexpected nuances in their thinking habits, unveiling underlying beliefs that may hinder their progress. Gaining clarity about your perceptions arms you with the understanding necessary to challenge limitations and adopt a more empowering mindset.

With newfound awareness comes the ability to shift your attitude. While the natural inclination may be to fall back into old habits when faced with adversity, the ELI teaches you to consciously select a different path.

When you receive your ELI results, you may suddenly realize that by simply reframing negative thoughts, you can improve your reactions in challenging scenarios. Embracing a positive outlook enables you to break free from the grips of limiting beliefs and catalyze effective solutions instead.

Alongside heightened awareness and attitude shifts, the ELI enables you to create a structured plan for improvement. By identifying specific goals tied to your energy levels, you and I can craft a personalized action plan that leads to tangible results.

This roadmap acts as a guide, helping you prioritize tasks aligned with your newfound vision. Using targeted strategies enables continual progress towards cultivating a more fulfilling professional and personal life.

Embracing the benefits of working with a coach

As a certified Energy Leadership® coach, I’ll help enhance your learning experience and ensure a faster, smoother transition toward your most important goals.

Through collaboration, we’ll uncover fresh insights and tackle obstacles together, because every individual’s path to transformation is unique. Our sessions can cover diverse topics, including conflict resolution, stress management, parenting, or enhancing emotional intelligence. Personalized support keeps you accountable and engaged, leading meaningful and sustainable change.

Applying your new knowledge for peak performance

Acquiring insights into your energy dynamics represents only the beginning; applying this knowledge effectively makes the real difference in your daily life. Once you’ve identified your energy levels, it’s essential to incorporate management strategies that align with your goals. Techniques such as mindfulness practices, visualization, and breathwork allow individuals to regulate their energy dynamically.

Consistent practice helps reinforce higher energy states, leading to improved emotional well-being and productivity. Incorporating energy management strategies positions you to proactively address challenges and maintain balance in tumultuous moments, whether you’re navigating a difficult HR situation, or navigating your child’s bedtime routine.

A core benefit of the ELI assessment is the cultivation of resilience—the ability to bounce back from setbacks while remaining flexible amidst shifting circumstances. Through a deeper understanding of energy dynamics, you can develop adaptive strategies that cater to varying situations.

Building resilience promotes confidence in your capacity to manage challenges, enabling quicker recovery from adverse events. As you become accustomed to this adaptability, you’ll find yourself navigating obstacles with newfound ease and grace.

Finally, as you apply your acquired knowledge and embody higher energy states, you inevitably influence those around you. Empowered leaders inspire teams and families, sparking motivation and enthusiasm that lead to a positive ripple effect among those around you.

Taking decisive action 

1. The first step in your transformative journey begins by completing the Energy Leadership® Index assessment. In approximately 20 minutes, you will answer insightful questions that reflect your thoughts and feelings concerning your work and life.This concise assessment collects essential data points that form the basis of your personalized feedback.
2. After submitting your assessment, the next phase involves a one-on-one debrief session with me. During our time together, we’ll explore your results, including the percentage of each energy level you exhibit under various conditions. Together, we’ll analyze the implications of your results and create actionable strategies to help you reach your desired goals.
3. Your commitment to personal development doesn’t end after the assessment. Instead, consider being part of my private or group coaching programs. You can use this experience as a launch pad for lifelong growth and a continuous journey to peak performance.

Living with purpose and passion

Engaging with the Energy Leadership® Index assessment opens doors to profound insights and exciting possibilities, both professionally and personally.

Start transforming your life today. Complete the Energy Leadership® Index assessment and partner with me. I will guide you on this incredible journey towards self-awareness and personal excellence.

Have questions about whether the ELI Assessment is the right next step for you? You can learn more about it here or book a clarity call. 

*iPEC, once known as the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching, has expanded our company vision beyond the container of our 4-letter acronym—we knew it was time to let it go. Just as we encourage our students to release what no longer serves them to step more fully into their unique potential, we too released our old identity of the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching to step into our more expansive way of being in the world. We are simply, iPEC.

*Self persception chart is iPec copyrighted