Today, let’s take a deep dive into the vast ocean of emotional intelligence and talk about something that’s woven into the very fabric of our being: our emotions. As high-achieving professionals and business leaders, we often find ourselves juggling a plethora of responsibilities, and it’s all too easy for our emotions to get the best of us. But here’s the secret: your emotions can be your superpower if you learn how to manage them effectively.

As a successful leader, you want to manage your emotions wisely. You certainly don’t want to suppress how you feel, but rather understand, channel, and leverage them effectively for personal and professional growth.

Emotions are not the enemy. They are an intrinsic part of who we are and can be our allies in this exhilarating journey called leadership. So, let’s discuss some strategies you can add to your leadership toolbox to manage emotions effectively, nurture your inner self, and foster a positive impact on those around you. As Brené Brown so wonderfully puts it, “A leader is anyone who takes responsibility for finding potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential.”

1. Embrace Acceptance (Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff)

Life is as unpredictable as the waves of the ocean. Sometimes you’re riding the wave, other times you’re underneath it. As leaders, it’s imperative to recognize that not everything is within our control. Embracing the ancient Greek Stoic philosophy can be tremendously beneficial. Focus on what you can control and release what you can’t. So, when the waves of change come crashing down, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Can I control this?”. If not, let it go. Your mental health and productivity will thank you.

2. Reappraisal (Change The Story)

Your brain is an expert storyteller, constantly weaving tales around events and experiences. But sometimes these stories are more like fiction than reality. They can be based on fears, assumptions, limiting beliefs, misinterpretations, or past experiences, and not on facts. 

As leaders, reappraising these stories is essential for emotional well-being. Change the narrative in your head, and you change your emotions. For instance, before a big presentation, many leaders experience anxiety and uncertainty about how people will receive their work or message.  These thoughts and emotions are often traced back to the fear of rejection or lack of acceptance, stemming from the idea that who and what they are is not good enough.  Instead, practicing the art and skill of loving yourself unconditionally and with complete acceptance will allow you to reconnect with a belief that serves the greater good far more effectively. It allows for you to realize that you are more than enough, which can give way to thought reframes like, “I am excited to share my innovative solutions!”. This simple narrative shift can transmute your anxiety into enthusiasm, and foster clear, open communication and a more successful outcome.

3. Expression (Let It Out, But Wisely)

There’s immense power in expression. Studies have shown that simply writing down or talking about your emotions can significantly change how you feel about an event. However, as a leader, be discerning with this. Internal conflict creates external conflict, and internal peace creates external peace.  For example, if you are managing a person on your team who has trouble meeting deadlines, it’s easy to fire off a hotly-worded email in an effort to squash this behavior once and for all.  However, If your goal is to lead in a way that inspires others to be at their best, doing so will only breed more conflict.  Instead, consider writing out that email, saving it as a draft, and revisiting it once the emotional storm has passed. Once you’ve allowed time for release of emotion and reflection, you can rephrase once you’re in a place of peace and compassion.  Perhaps the offender is going through a divorce or health crisis.  Perhaps they’re experiencing loss of some sort.  Until we get compassionate, we can’t see the full story, and we act out of incomplete information, leading to more stress and friction.  But often, it is our forced lack of expression that puts us there in the first place.

4. Mindfulness (Stay Present)

In the high-pressure environment of the corporate world, a leader’s mind can often be overwhelmed with thoughts about past mistakes or future uncertainties. This can lead to emotional reactivity rather than a thoughtful response. Practicing mindfulness, which is the act of being consciously present and aware of one’s thoughts, emotions, and surroundings without judgment, is critical for leaders as it helps in achieving emotional equilibrium. 

When you’re mindful, you’re able to observe your thoughts and emotions without getting tangled in them. You can focus on the matter at hand, listen actively, and engage more effectively with your team. This contributes not only to better decision-making but also to building stronger relationships. 

Remaining mindful involves being present and actively engaging with your current situation. Here are some questions that individuals, especially leaders, can ask themselves to stay mindful:

• What am I experiencing right now? – Reflect on your current emotional state, the sensations in your body, and the thoughts in your mind.
• What is my breath like? – Pay attention to your breathing; is it fast, slow, shallow, or deep? Sometimes just focusing on your breath can bring you back to the present moment.
• How am I reacting to this situation? – Monitor your reactions and assess whether they are based on impulse or rationality.
• What are the emotions of the people around me? – Being mindful also involves being aware of others’ emotions, especially for a leader. Gauge the emotional climate of the room.
• What assumptions am I making? – Challenge your own assumptions and consider if they are based on facts or biases.
• Is my mind wandering? – If your thoughts are drifting to the past or future, gently bring them back to the present.
• What impact will my decision have? – Consider the consequences of your actions or decisions on yourself, your team, and your organization.
• Am I being judgmental? – Reflect on whether you are making judgments about people or situations too quickly, without considering all aspects.
• What can I be grateful for in this moment? – Focusing on gratitude can sometimes ground you and bring you back to the present.

5. Build Emotional Connections (Empathy is Key)

Building and nurturing emotional connections is an invaluable asset for leaders. It’s not just about managing your emotions, but also about connecting with the emotions of your team. Express genuine empathy and understanding, and you will foster a work environment that thrives on trust and collaboration.

Managing emotions as a leader is an art that requires practice and dedication. By embracing acceptance, reappraising situations, wisely expressing emotions, practicing mindfulness, and building emotional connections, you can turn your emotions into powerful allies in your leadership journey.

Consider Working with a Leadership Coach

One of the most powerful ways to develop emotional intelligence and mindfulness as a leader is by working with a leadership coach. Leadership coaching is not just for those who are struggling; it’s for anyone who wants to level up their leadership skills and personal development.

Why Work With a Leadership Coach?

1. Gain Insight into Your Emotional Patterns: A leadership coach can help you understand your emotional triggers and patterns. This insight is invaluable for managing your emotions effectively.

2. Personalized Strategies: Every leader is unique. A leadership coach can work with you to develop strategies that are tailored to your specific needs and leadership style.

3. Accountability: Sometimes knowing what to do isn’t enough; you need someone to hold you accountable. A leadership coach can be that person who ensures that you are staying on track with your emotional management goals.

4. Enhancing Communication Skills: Effective communication is key in leadership. A leadership coach can help you to communicate more effectively, especially in high-stakes or emotionally charged situations.

5. Develop Empathy and Build Emotional Connections: Leadership coaches can help you build your empathetic skills, which are crucial for understanding and connecting with the emotions of those around you.

6. Objectivity and Perspective: Leadership coaches offer an outside perspective, which can be incredibly valuable. They can help you see things that you might not notice because you are too close to the situation.

7. Boosting Mindfulness Practices: A leadership coach can introduce you to mindfulness techniques and practices, guiding you on how to incorporate them into your daily routine for emotional management.