Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your character, and your character becomes your destiny.

Buddha

Eating better. Getting a full night’s sleep. Exercising regularly. Better relationships. Running a marathon. Learning the piano. Reaching your target weight. These are the types of things that many of us think about as life goals. Often, we make resolutions for change, particularly around the days preceding the start of a new year. But, just as much as we say we want these things, we have just as much trouble seeing them through; most New Year resolutions are abandoned by February. In fact, only 8% of all New Year’s resolutions are actually seen to fruition. The reason is simple: making a shift in habits requires a literal rewiring of your brain. Notice I said “simple,” and not “easy.”

OBSERVE

A key question you may want to ask yourself is this: “Why?” Why are you wanting to (insert goal here)? Is it to serve you, or serve and please what someone else wants? Is it something you THINK should be important to you, or is it actually important to you? Asking yourself this is part one of the three steps to creating lasting lifestyle change.

WHAT IS YOUR “WHY”?

Once you establish this, it makes it much easier to follow through, or let it slide. Whether it’s flossing more, eating more plants, losing weight, starting a meditation practice, running a marathon, or getting the required 8 hours of nightly sleep for optimal health–ANY life goal, resolution, or transformation, start by asking yourself why. Let’s take something many consider mundane: flossing. People are terrible about it, endlessly searching for and spending money on things that “make it easier” but don’t actually motivate you to create the lifestyle habit itself. As one of my IG followers said to me, “I’m really just lazy, and I know I need to be better.” This is the case for many. But until you know WHY flossing is important, you can’t use it to remind yourself as motivation to get up and actually do it. If your “why” in this case is because your dentist told you so, or because you know you “should,” that likely won’t do the trick. But if it’s “I don’t want gum disease, stroke, a heart attack, or diabetes.”, that may motivate you to floss. If your health isn’t what’s important, but your finances are, then maybe it’s “I want to keep my teeth healthy so I don’t have to spend money fixing them.”

ACCEPT

In the flossing example given above, who has the “right” answer, the person who wants to floss for health, or the person that wants to save money? The “why” is different for everyone, and it’s important to acknowledge and honor that “why” without judgement. There is no wrong answer to this question, as long as the answer is yours. Maybe the answer is that it isn’t important to you, but important to someone else, and you’re allowing their desires to be projected onto your own life. That’s an important observation that requires a lot of acceptance, as it determines whether or not it matters enough to you to actually make that specific decision or change in your life.

SHIFT

This is another way of saying, “Take action–or not.” Creating lasting new habits can be very difficult, since doing so involves changing your mindset–a literal SHIFT in your thinking. In keeping with the flossing example, the person who determines it’s important to them (for health, finance, or otherwise) is much more likely to go and floss compared to the person that is doing it just so they don’t have to hear their dentist talk about flossing at their next dental visit. Understanding their feelings and their why around this issue literally causes a shift in the way they view the activity of flossing, in that they’re likely to hold themselves accountable by doing things like place reminders around their mirror. But, maybe, for the person who observes that it isn’t important to them at all, but they’re just doing it in an effort to try and comply with their doctor, they likely are going to either start flossing for a period of time, and then fall of the wagon, or skip the flossing altogether. This is also an opportunity for a shift–the opportunity to recognize that it’s not something that is important to them, and let it go. It doesn’t meant there won’t be consequences for the choices we make (good or bad), but it will mean that there is no “failing” at this resolution, as you’ve decided it’s not the one for you. (To be clear, I do NOT advise skipping your flossing sessions.)

You must make lifestyle shifts with a few key understandings:

• Change happens in the moment, but transformations happen over time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is your overall mental/physical health. It is the cumulative result of many small decisions over time.
• You are literally rewiring your brain when you break old habits and create new ones. 
• Love and kindness towards yourself is important. If you can’t talk to yourself with love and kindness, the search for happiness and balance is unending. No matter where you are or what your situation is, it will never be good enough.
• Progress isn’t linear. It’s circuitous. It’s full of pitfalls and side-tracks. BUT, if you continue to mindfully forge on, with love, kindness and patience, it IS possible.
• Your thoughts matter. Your words and thoughts carry energy. They have the power to manifest. Use them wisely and with purpose.
• Hold yourself accountable, either by telling someone your goal with the expectation that you will keep them abreast of the situation, or by setting reminders, planning ahead, etc. How you do this can vary greatly depending on what it is that you’re trying to shift.

I sincerely hope this helps you create lasting changes in your life that promote wellness and health, and inspire others to do the same in their own, unique way. Wishing you and yours peace, joy, and light. Namaste!