Resolutions. Goals. Press-Gainey scores. Patient Experience. Client Satisfaction ratings. Yelp reviews. The number of stars your business has on Google. How times you fight with your child or spouse. Your dress size. The size of your bank account. There are countless ways to measure how successful we are in life, be it at work or at home. According to a recent article on Inc.com, 92% of people do not achieve their goals. And yet, we keep making them. We insist on these metrics being the determining factors of how fulfilled, effective, and happy we feel.
This used to be something I experienced a lot (and sometimes I catch myself still–but hey, I’m human!). Then I’d blame myself, others, or the situation for why. I’d give away my power to create the life I deserved to live. Here’s what I’ve learned about how to set goals that actually have a shot at being realized.
Set a theme for the year (or week, or quarter…the time frame really doesn’t matter), rather than a specific goal. Then think about how that theme shows up for you in your work, personal, spiritual, recreational, and other aspects of life. Reflecting on this and getting as specific as you can helps you identify what you need to do to make it a reality. For example, if your theme is “Year of Follow Through,” and you’re thinking about taking a vacation, instead of saying, “I’m actually going to take a vacation this year” say, “I’m going to visit Rome, Florence, and the Amalfi Coast for 12 days with my family in July.” Assigning language and getting specific makes it easier for you to take steps to get you where you want to go–easier for you to create what you want.
Moderation is your friend. Set your goals accordingly. This isn’t to say you can’t have Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals. What I’m saying here is that when you allow your life to be dictated by that goal to the point where your sleeping, exercising, leisure, relationships, and so forth are left unattended, your goal doesn’t necessarily enhance the life you want to live. What good is a million dollars in the bank if you have no one to share it with, or are too sick to spend it with? To use another example, what good is being a certain dress size if you can never eat at a restaurant with friends or if you feel miserable? You don’t have to end up bleeding, sweating, crying, exhausted, and suffering in order to “earn” it that way.
Know your personal values, and align your actions with them. Is family important to you? Your health? Honesty? Trust? Most of us have many values, but there are always the top two or three that are the most personally impactful. Knowing what they are helps you determine what you want, what you’re attracted to, and what honors who you are to the core. I had a physician mom client that deeply valued family, but would constantly say yes to tasks and meetings at work, effectively impacting how much time she spent at home. When we coached around what her values are and how she was (or wasn’t) honoring them, and the effect that had on her goal to spend time with her kids, she felt empowered to set her boundaries. She was able to identify what was going to serve her in her ability to do her work well, and what wasn’t. Through her sessions, she was able to create a level of work-life integration that she had previously dismissed as a pipe dream.
Consider how your goals benefit people outside of just you as motivation. The highest successes are ones where we create a win-win-win situation. In other words, an individual, local, and global success. If your goal is to meditate every day, for instance, you are more likely to commit to learning how and doing it if you see it as a service to those around you, rather than only for yourself. My client that I referenced earlier saw the benefit for her changing how she approached her workload as a benefit to more than just her; she was able to see and experience how spending more times with her kids actually made her more focused at work. Everyone won–her patients, her co-workers, her family–and herself.
Trust the process. Maybe you achieve your goals. Maybe you don’t in the way you had intended. But trusting that everything that happens is happening for a higher purpose is key. It allows you to receive what IS intended for you in far greater quantities. And, my dear reader, you ARE intended for amazing things. Be open to taking inspired action and trusting that no matter what, there is an abundance of learning that can happen. An abundance of growth. And, that you are loved and supported by The Universe.
Get support from people who believe in your visions and dreams. Friends, family, mentors, therapists, coaches…these are all people from whom you might source positive support, knowledge, resources, and encouragement in different and specific ways. Finding the right support for you is not something to take lightly. And remember, never allow your dreams to be limited by someone else’s limited imagination.
Wishing you a 2023 filled with an abundance of everything you desire to achieve.
If you want to really ensure you’re going to realize your highest successes, and you’re ready to chat about how, snag some time on my calendar. I can’t wait to help you discover how working together will change your life!